April 15, 2012
my Mom comes to conclusion that I am acting all sad and not social because I am breaking up with Kody, my ex-boyfriend or hopefully will be ex-boyfriend if he ever fucking responds to one of my texts, the little shit head.
Okay, so my Mom planned for these two Mormon kids or I mean young men to come on over this Sunday (today) to help around the garden, eat, and just enjoy each others company for some great discussions, be it religious or not. But on the day they were making the plans they kept of dismissing my comments, so it made me feel like my opinions were not important. Yes, I know my Mom has experienced more so she knows more and I can see how they would want to know more and talk to her more. But they dont’ realize that there is a whole other new generation with a new way of thinking. This generation I am in is completely different with a different way of how they want to live their lives. Sure, some aren’t that great but there is greatness even in those weird and twisted morals we have reciprocated from the ways our parents raised us all. And the fact that they didn’t want to at least listen to a bit of what I had to say kind of hurt. I am probably coming to quick to a conclusion, especially because I’ve only talked to them twice. They’re good men, it is just something that is bothering me.
Maybe I am to shy, or something another, but what is weird is that I am never afraid to speak my mind but when it comes to religion I do feel like a child. I am always being told I am wrong, and how can they know I am wrong when they themselves are still trying to figure out what they are sent out into the world for? Maybe, I should actually talk to them the next time they come. However, I get the feeling they won’t try to talk to me for the way I had ignored them today. My bad. Who cares, they’re just people I won’t be walking down a path with, I’ll meet other people like them and hopefully I’ll actually be able to speak to them and not feel so…not adequate to talk to about things.
Sorry for the ramble, pretty sure it didn’t make any sense to anyone. And I am pretty sure no ones going to read this because it is really long…and I personally don’t like ready really long journal entries unless I am bored to death! (;